#SorryNotSorry

Last night, fellow personal finance blogger and Babble contributor, Kathleen, from the blog Frugal Portland, posted a video on her Facebook page. It’s called Not Sorry, and I think it’s really great.

A while back I wrote a post called, Stop Apologizing For Your Existence – Why Saying I’m Sorry Undermines You. The video above perfectly articulates what I was talking about it that post.

I think it’s so important to talk about these “little issues” that come up with women, and especially any issues that can impact women in the workplace. This is definitely one of those things.

The other day, a friend of mine told me that at her job she was instructed to “be nicer”, and another friend said that during a performance evaluation she was told she needed to “smile more”. I was shocked to hear that such feedback was given (they don’t work in the hospitality industry where I could see comments like those being somewhat warranted). I wonder what the correlation is with women being so “sorry” about so many unnecessary things, and also being expected to be so nice and smiley is? Are women just are supposed to be robotically cheerful and constantly apologetic in the workplace? I don’t think so, and I don’t like it one bit.

Let’s be on our own side and stop saying “sorry” so much. It might seem like a little thing to do but we can start making a shift with how we are seen, especially in the workplace, with every unnecessary “sorry” that doesn’t get said.  Try saying, “excuse me” if you need a transitional phrase. I’ve found that it’s pretty easy to swap them out once you become aware.

 

Do you find yourself saying “Sorry” when you don’t really need to? Have you ever been told to be “sweeter”, “nicer”, or to “smile more” in the workplace?  I’d love to hear about your experience with this issue.

7 comments

in Societal Pressures, Take Action, Things To Do, Work
QUIZ – How Annoying of a Co-Worker are You? (Or, 101 Things to NOT Do at Work)

how annoying of a coworker are you quiz andthenwesaved.com

 

After low-pay, co-workers are #2 on the list of what makes work undesirable. Do you have any co-workers that do any of these “annoying” behaviors (below), or do you (gasp) do any of them? Acknowledgement is the first step to change.;)

I won’t say which ones my former co-workers or myself committed in the past but I was definitely guilty of a few.

How about you, how do you stack-up, and where do your co-workers stand on the annoying scale?

 

HOW ANNOYING OF A CO-WORKER ARE YOU? QUIZ

Keep track of how many of the below traits that you, or your co-workers, commit. Then, see what your results are at the end of the quiz. (Just a warning, it’s a biggie! So make sure you have about 10 minutes to complete it.)

 

BODY/HYGIENE 

1. Dishes out room-clearing, silent-but-oh-dear-god-deadly farts. (Worst offenders: Egg Farts, and farts that linger. You know the ones…)

2. Clips nails at work or does any other sort of personal grooming at their desk

3. Doesn’t cover mouth when sneezing

4. Wears too much cologne or perfume

5. Always has coffee breath

6. Doesn’t wash hands after going to bathroom

7. Doesn’t use the bathroom spray when needed :( yuck!

8. Doesn’t flush the toilet :( double yuck!

 

BEHAVIOR

9. Schedules meetings first thing the morning (8:00 am) or too close to the end of the day (4:30 pm)

10. Schedules too many meeting, in general. (“Let’s have some meetings to talk about the other meetings!” Um, no let’s not erm-kay.)

11. Is always trying to sell items for their kids (or themselves)

12. Acts as if they are the supervisor when they aren’t. (Acting like a leader can be a good thing but don’t go overboard with it.)

13. Is condescending

14. Doesn’t do certain tasks because they believe the tasks are “beneath” them or “not their job”

15. Acts entitled

16. Questions everyone and everything. (Just do your dang job!)

17. Gossips

18. Constantly complains about all the “injustices” that are happening

19. Focuses too much on the negative

20. Stirs up drama

21. Brings personal drama to work, EVERYDAY

22. Is sulky/moody

23. Exhibits passive-aggressive behavior

24. Tries to “call out” others in front of the supervisor

25. Micro-manages

26. Is too critical

27. Breaks things and then doesn’t fix it or ask the appropriate people to fix it

28. Uses up supplies and then doesn’t replace them

29. Acts as if co-workers desks are the Supply Room. (Get your own darn hole-punch!)

30. Says, “I’m always here to answer any questions you may have!” Then, they are never available when you need them.

31. Stops by your desk, far too often, and then doesn’t pick up on cues that you’re too busy to chat or that you need to get back to work

32. Touches others

33. Stands too close

34. Makes inappropriate/uncomfortable jokes

35. Brings kid(s)/pet(s) to work

36. Thinks you’re closer than you are then over-shares about far too personal (or intimate) aspects of their life.

37. Finishes others sentences

38. Interrupts

39. Talks too much

40. Talks too much about themselves

41. Talks over others

42. Talks loudly

43. Plays loud music

44. Plays terrible music

45. Plays elevator-ish music at half-volume

46. Is late to meetings and then asks lots and lots of questions about things that were covered when they were absent

47. They don’t do their work

48. They do their work but not efficiently, at all

49. They don’t know how to do their job

50. They make lots of mistakes

51. They don’t learn from their mistakes

52. They don’t pull their weight

53. Texts/on phone constantly

54. Is on social media throughout the day (and it’s not a social media job)

55. Hasn’t “paid their dues”/acts too comfortable too soon

56. Sneaks glances at your computer-screen

57. Asks questions about how to do things then not doesn’t learn from the experience so they continue to ask the same things over and over

58. Puts up cryptic Facebook posts about work

59. Puts up non-cryptic Facebook posts about work

60. Is a Know-it-All

61. Tells everyone how great they are

62. Offers un-solicited advice

63. Is an obvious suck-up

64. Takes credit for things they shouldn’t

65. Doesn’t take responsibility for their mistakes

66. Brags about how “caught up” they are and then they don’t offer to help out with what needs to be done

67. Comes to work sick (! – one of my biggest pet-peeves)

68. Takes smoke breaks

69. Takes too many breaks

70. Doesn’t pick up after themselves

71. Doesn’t say “Hi” or acknowledge you when you see each other in the halls even though you’ve met 700 times/they introduce themselves to you every time you see each other

72. Isn’t professional

73. Is forgetful

74. Dresses inappropriately

 

SOUNDS

75. Sings (Loudly, softly, really great, or really bad —it doesn’t matter. Just don’t.)

76. Hums

77. Clears throat, a lot

78. Coughs, a lot

79. Sniffles, a lot

80. Sighs (Heavily, loudly and often.)

81. Doesn’t have cell phone noises on silent

82. Tests out all their cell phone ring-tones at work

83. Makes personal calls at desk

84. Takes too long on those personal calls

 

FOOD

85. Eats loudly

86. Eats smelly foods

87. Takes food that isn’t theirs

88. Leaves dirty dishes in the sink

 

EMAIL

89. Doesn’t understand email etiquette

90. EMAILS IN ALL CAPS

91. Replies to all

92. Uses every font available in their email signature

93. Has elaborate email “stationary”

94. Has a cheesy quote under their signature

95. Asks questions that they could have found the answer to had they read the email

96. Sends chain emails

97. Sends spam emails

98. IM’s (instant message’s) about important matters that should be emailed about

99. IM’s and then expects an immediate response

100. Responds too slowly

101. Doesn’t respond to emails

 

Okay, that was more of a test then a quiz. Let’s see how you (or your co-worker) did…

How Annoying of a Co-Worker are You?

QUIZ RESULTS

 

If you (or your co-worker) do 0 – 15 of the traits = NOT VERY ANNOYING

You’re not annoying at all! You should start a course called, “How to Not be Annoying” so we can all sign up!

 

If you (or your co-worker) do 16 – 30 of the traits = KIND OF ANNOYING

You have your annoying moments but you’re really not that bad! Might want to take a look at some areas to improve because you’re definitely doing some annoying things here and there but, generally, you’re doing good!

 

If you (or your co-worker) do 31 – 61 of the traits = VERY ANNOYING

Ut oh. You’re pretty annoying. Your co-workers cringe when they see you coming and they are secretly very pumped when you say you’re looking for a new job. I know, sad, right?! :( You can still make changes! It’s not too late for you!

 

If you (or your co-worker) do 62 – 101 of the traits =  CRINGE-WORTHY ANNOYING

You’re the perfect example of an annoying co-worker and your co-workers want you to quit ASAP! It’s nothing personal, of course, but please leave, like, right now. :’’’(

 

How’d you and your co-workers do on the annoying quiz?

2 comments

in Social, Societal Pressures, Work
Thrifty Weekender / 04

thrifty weekender andthenwesaved.com

This Sunday will be Aaron’s very first Father’s Day, and I made him something pretty neat that the baby will give him:), and I got him a couple of little things too. (I can’t wait to show you what I made him it’s a simple but impressive DIY that could be adapted for just about any holiday/event throughout the year.)

We’re continuing to clear-out the clutter through The Minimalist Challenge and my word, gotta say, while I know it will ultimately be cleaner after we get rid of the stuff, during the process of this Challenge our dining room has become a massive mess. I’ve been trying to remind myself, “Alright, it’s going to get messier before it gets cleaner” because we’ve got bins stacked upon bins, and since those are all packed full we’ve switched over to garbage bags so we have a place for the rest of the junk to go. I don’t know how we’ve accumulated SO much stuff! Barf. I’m so ready to let the things go even more now that I’ve had to stare at the piles of stuff everyday!

And now, let’s get into the Thrifty Weekender!

  • Paul Graham’s take on Stuff
  • It’s wedding season so if you’re planning a wedding (or if you have some friends who are) then these wedding freebies might come in handy, and these are great too DIY Wedding Ideas!
  • Seems like everyone I know has issues with spending too much money on food (you too?).  I’m always up for learning more ways to save money at the grocery store but I share what I do know in this post: 7 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Your Grocery Run.
  • Have you heard about the Anchoring Effect? It’s a ploy used to get you to spend more money.

 

I hope you’re having a great weekend! Give those dads some extra tight bear hugs today! :) xo, Anna

one comment

in Just For Fun, Thrifty Weekender
  • Anna

    Hi, I'm Anna! I paid off close to 24k in debt in only 15 months & it completely changed my life! I want you to have a debt-free life too so here you'll be able to read all about: How to do a Spending Fast®, saving & making more money, DIY's, & a lot about living awesomely with less. Let's do this!

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